If you go with big kids: Melbourne

With just a handful of weeks before Lauren leaves us for 18 months, we managed to scavenge a long weekend to go see another corner of Australia together. We tossed around a few ideas but Melbourne quickly became our unanimous choice. And, boy, did she live up to our hopes. There's a reason it was voted the most liveable city in the world for the past two years. Melbourne, save us a seat. We'll be back!
 
Here are a few ideas if you ever find yourself in Melbourne with some big kids and teens (a big thanks to some local friends for the hints and recommendations):

Royal Botanical Gardens

Eureka Skydeck

Queen Victoria Market + Cafe Verona

Shopping on Brunswick Street

Old Melbourne Gaol

National Museum of Victoria

To do & see:

Go for a wander through the beautiful Royal Botanical Gardens Melbourne (free). Perfect for a picnic or an ice-cream-cone stop along the way. We found a grassy place to put our feet up and enjoy the scenery for a few minutes.

The National Gallery of Victoria is right across the street from the Botanical Gardens. It hosted a fantastic exhibit of Monet's Garden when we were there. The rest of the museum is well worth a visit, too.   (Free except $ for special exhibits.)

Take a trip up to the Eureka Skydeck for spectacular views of Melbourne's sites. You might want to stop to take a few photobooth photos. Because who can resist the siren call of the photobooth, even when you're on top of the tallest building in the Southern Hemisphere? Not us, that's who. ($) 

 Queen Victoria's Market (also known as Queen Vic or Vic Market) shouldn't be missed. It's a sprawling, historic market in the heart of the city where you can shop for fruits & veg, flowers, clothing, and arts. (Free, closed Mondays, Wednesdays and public holidays.) 

Shopping on Brunswick Street in Fitzroy, where vintage shops rub shoulders with cafes, artsy places, and one-of-a-kind shops. Even confirmed anti-shopper Sam enjoyed it. (Granted, his threshold was much lower than his sisters' but he did hang in there well. Plus there were burgers along the way.) Click on the link to get a flavor of the street in a panoramic view.

The Old Melbourne Gaol was a hoot. We got arrested and imprisoned by a sarcastic sergeant for an up-close and realistic view of the historic gaol and then wandered around the building learning about the infamous criminals who came and went within its walls. You can also do a night tour with the Hangman (not for young 'uns) and  watch a reenactment of the Ned Kelly Trial. ($)

The Australian Centre for the Moving Image was a fun stop. They featured a Hollywood Costume special exhibit from London's Victoria & Albert Museum when we were there this weekend, which was a big hit with all of us. ($)

For next time:
 The Melbourne Cricket Ground to take in some cricket or rugby or to visit the National Sports Museum.
Rod Laver Tnnis Arena: for tours behind the scenes of the Melbourne Open. You can also book a court and play a little tennis at those hallowed nets.
 St. Kilda neighborhood
 Brighton bathing boxes
Great Ocean Road, 12 Apostles, and lighthouses

To eat: 

La Camera at Southbank: tasty and well-priced Italian fare. We went twice! 
 Cafe Verona (Queen Vic Market): you had us at mini pancakes. Yum.
 Brother Burger (Brunswick Road in Fitzroy): the best burgers and onion rings we've had in ages.

For next time: 
 Mamacita (Central Business District): we had read rave reviews but, alas, the wait was 4 hours for our party of five. Too long for our hungry crew.

To sleep:

We booked some hotel/apartments at Oaks on Market. They were pretty basic but the price was right and the location was perfect. And having a kitchen means lots more food flexibility.

We've also had great luck using Stayz in Australia to book a house or apartment.

 
We're certainly no experts after just one weekend there! Feel free to chime in if you have some Melbourne picks I've missed.

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p.s. Things I realized this trip:
1.  Our cheesy travel doctrine of flexipositivity might just be paying off. Everyone was in pretty good spirits and willing to go with the flow as needed. (Exception: as Sarah sagely noted, a hungry child is a dangerous child. When we did encounter a bit of turbulence, it was nothing a little food and sitting down for a spell didn't fix.)

2. We have entered travel nirvana, age-wise (knock-on-wood). The kids are really pretty funny, can carry their own bags, and even sleep in their own hotel room. (I know!) We've been looking forward to this stage for decades. 

3. Travel nirvana has a very narrow window. I couldn't help but whimper a bit if I let myself think about how this whole-family travel thing might not happen again for quite some time. If at all. And isn't that just the truth about this parenting gig overall? Just when you get to the point that you can enjoy the whole thing, it's time for someone to move on.  

4. Vacation laundry is still a beast, no matter what stage your family's in.

5. I need to get in front of the camera a little more so I have proof I made the trip, too. 

Georgia on my mind

Like Sarah's daughter, who just left for France, my Lauren is preparing to take a gap year+ from her university studies and go on a volunteer mission for our church, too.  In the weeks leading up to the assignment letter, we invited friends and family to weigh in with their guesses. (This map makes me so happy. And now I have the irrational travel itch to go to all of these places. A flag on our map is like a permission slip to go there, right?) 

After a month of waiting, Lauren's mission assignment finally arrived here last week. Lauren didn't want a huge hoopla so we just gathered our family here.  A few sleepy people who were still awake in the states (my parents and one of Lauren's friends) joined us via Skype and phone in the middle of their night.

She opened the envelope and read out the call,  her voice brightening (always a good sign) as she scanned ahead to the mission location:

You are assigned to labor in the Macon, Georgia mission...[reporting on] Wednesday, August 21, 2013.

She's thrilled and delighted. We all are. It feels like just the right place for her. She was entirely willing to go anywhere but, when pressed over the last month or two, she always mentioned the southern US as an area where she would love to go (that, and the Hawaii Visitor's Center and several other islands. And who wouldn't want to go to Hawaii?) 

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The mission includes parts of Georgia, Alabama, and South Carolina including Savannah, Hilton Head, Macon, and Auburn

When I was at Tufts I was asked by a professor to do a guest lecture on the cultural sociology/anthropology of Mormonism. The students in the course had been studying different cultures through the lenses of independence and interdependence so I (over)prepared at length to describe how Mormon families & congregations operate in a unique blend of both independence and interdependence. 

It went well and the students were engaged in the topic. (I always found this true at Tufts--openness to and fascination with ideas in general translated to respect and genuine curiosity about my religion in particular.) When it got to question & answer time for this group of 70 undergraduates, however, what they really wanted to hear about was missions. They had seen them around the city, those hard-to-miss missionaries in pairs and nametags. They were fascinated that young adults their age volunteer to go somewhere they're assigned for 18 to 24 months, with a companion you may or may not get along with, phone contact home only twice a year, no dating, and a full-time schedule of teaching and service. 

Are they perfect, these young volunteers? No, not by a long shot. Do they make mistakes? Yes, it's a given. One of the things I appreciate most about missions is that, just as late adolescence hits its most self-centered, we invite young people to give up two of their peak years to service and selflessness. In a similar but non-religious way, the Peace Corps and Americorps and Teach for America invite young adults to give service in the neediest of settings. Whatever the vehicle, I think it's a great bridge to adulthood.

But it still hurts my heart a little. 

Let the devil-goes-down-to-Georgia + midnight-train-to-Georgia jokes commence!
p.s. Please send Southern food recipes, stat.

Day tripping

Photo by Debbie Brenner

Happy 4th of July! It's going to be a quiet one here. Two of my kids are gone, but we are going to do our best to be festive with those loyal enough to remain behind. I'm thinking burgers on the grill and pool volleyball. The fireworks don't fall under my departmental responsibilities, so I have nothing to say on that matter. 

For the past five or six years, the week of the 4th has included a trip to San Antonio, just under 200 miles away. The older kids have a camp that week at Trinity University, and San Antonio is always a welcome respite -- what with the Mexican food and the Alamo and SeaWorld and the Mexican food. This year my sister-in-law and I drove the older kids to camp, dragging along our 12 and 11 year olds for some good old fashioned Mom-led fun. (Imagine me doing a dorky dance that would make a 12 year old boy roll his eyes.)

The last child leads a strange existence. At the tail-end of the family, they are witness to everyone's activities and comings and goings, and I find myself trying to balance Parker's watching and participating as best I can. In this instance, he was along for the drive and the dropping off, but then afterwards -- it was all him (and his beloved 11 year old cousin). We spent the night in San Antonio and then headed out adventuring in the morning.

In an effort to avoid the sweltering heat and horde of humanity that is SeaWorld or Six Flags, my sister-in-law came up with the brilliant plan of visiting Natural Bridge Caverns and it's next-door neighbor Natural Bridge Wildlife Ranch. The caverns are a huge underground system of caves with incredible stalagmites and stalagtites and mineral creations by the hundreds. And the Wildlife Ranch? Ummm . . . let me just say that a beautiful zebra stuck its head into my window and opened it's mouth WIDELY looking for the animal food pellets distributed at the ticket booth. I may have freaked out (because the teeth were large and unbrushed), screaming at my sister-in-law to roll up the window. When the same zebra stuck his head in the back window? The kids started laughing hysterically, all the while feeding her as quickly as they could pull the food from their bags. There's not much better entertainment than that. 

All of this got me thinking about the required elements for big kid day-tripping. Once, I loaded up my whole family and drove them to a small town about an hour away for some antiquing. Not a successful venture. The trip only ended on a somewhat less-dispirited note because of the Dairy Queen Blizzards I managed to locate in the 11th hour.

Forgoing antiquing . . . here's my list of day-trip essentials: 

1. Something to DO. There really needs to be something along the way that expends some physical energy. This is true for my big girls as well as my son. (Obviously, this is why amusement parks are typically sure-fire teen pleasers). Walking from one antique shop to the next does NOT seem to fulfill this element. At Natural Bridge Caverns there was a large ropes course and zip line that more than made up for the less-than-captivating lecture given in the caverns. 
2. Something to LEARN. Even though Parker was more interested in secret passageways than our tour guide's spiel, my kids are usually pretty interested in facts and figures along the way. They especially love a factory tour -- watching something being made. The Blue Bell tour is high on my list (and not just for the ice cream at the end). I also have great memories of the Cape Cod Potato Chip tour. My dream tour? Crayola. Only because I've seen it on Sesame Street like a zillion times.
3.  Something NEW. Novelty generally isn't BORING. Parker has seen the zebras in the zoo any number of times, but being accosted by a zebra in a vehicle? That was original.
4. Something to EAT (see photo). I probably don't need to spend an entire bullet point on this. But as my momma always says, "A hungry child is a dangerous child." This is even more true for teens. 
5. Something to ENDURE. Okay, so this isn't necessarily a "required element" for a day of fun. But that's the whole point. It's pretty near impossible to plan and execute a day of perfect fun. There are long car rides, tiring lines, altered meal times, and often disappointed expectations. The trip itself is about spending time together, seeing more of our part of the country, and focusing on the positive.  Reminding big kids of these goals is an important part of trip prep and maintenance. Also? Telling everyone Mom needs ten minutes of quiet before her head explodes? That's okay too.

Road tripping

Last summer, as part of our move from Boston to Australia, we drove across the midsection of the US of A with the whole fam-damily.   Crazy. Fun. Lengthy! That's a whole lot of together time. We researched routes and sights, routed ourselves through friends' and family members' hometowns as much as we could, and generally tried to spruce up our necessary, long trek into an adventure. It was a lonnnng ride with some bumps and squabbles along the way but we already catch ourselves reminiscing about it with fondness.  Here are a few survival tips we gleaned for taking a road trip (long or short) with big kids and teens:

 Include everyone in the planning. We started with a long wishlist of places to see, which included things like the Wizard of Oz museum, Laura Ingalls's house, the St. Louis arch, Graceland, Mt. Rushmore. Obviously we couldn't do it all but we started with everything on the table. Sam found a couple of good planning websites to try different route options and check to see if we were missing anything cool. We used Roadtrippers, which was good. (And here's a good Lifehacker post about apps and tools for making the most of roadtrips.)  Then we mapped out a reasonable drive time (between 6 and 11 hours each day) and planned stops and made reservations but kept it pretty flexible.

Make a mega playlist. I decided to crowdsource it and asked friends on Facebook and my personal blog to make suggestions. They came through brilliantly with a bounty of 167 favorite traveling songs from 72 people, representing the best of many decades and musical genres. I can honestly say we all (ages 13-45 at the time) enjoyed them. Feel free to use our playlist on Spotify or make one of your own tailored to your own greatest hits. I also wrote down who made each song suggestion, which led to some really great storytelling sessions as an added bonus. 

Pack a distraction box. Our kids were 18, 16, and 13 but that didn't mean they were too old for distractions along the way. Ours included a couple of balls and a frisbee to throw around at rest stops, some sudoku and logic puzzles, some audiobooks, books to read out loud, snacks, games. Bring an atlas, too, to trace the trip. Honestly, though, we ended up talking and listening to music and audiobooks for most of the trip.

Sam is not looking so flexipositive... 

Flexipositivity is our family's travel motto, a mashup of flexible + positive. It's a made-up word that draws eye rolls (and I'm sure it will be lampooned by our kids forever more) but it conveys what we hope will be the overall feel whenever we  travel. Things will happen and the only thing we have control over is our response. No sense ruining the day over it.  For instance, I lit my hair on fire in Kansas. Flexipositivity! Greg, who had been in Australia for a few months working in advance of our move, pulled onto the wrong side of the road. Flexipositivity time. Speeding ticket? Rained out? Have to take a turn sleeping on the floor? Flexipositivity, activate. (See? Now you're rolling your eyes, too.)

Embrace the wacky and the wonderful. World's Biggest Easel in Goodland, Kansas right next to the freeway? Yes, please. Ditto roadside dinosaur, stuffed penguins at Little America, and other oddities. Breaking up the trip with a little wackiness upped the adventure factor for us all. Build in a little time to be able to swerve off course and take a spontaneous stop now and then.

Sam and the World's Largest Easel, Goodland, Kansas

Take two cars. Ha! Just kidding, kind of. Last summer we needed to get two cars across the country and it was a fabulous--though admittedly spendy and un-green--way to go. I kid you not: For a lot of the journey, we had a kids' car and a parents' car. They could answer their own darn are-we-there-yet questions, right?  It was practically a second honeymoon.  As a more realistic alternative, shake things up by rotating seating throughout the trip.

Kids' car: better than the glass barrier in taxis and limos! 

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- Along the Way looks like a cool road trip app, though I haven't tried it. Have you? 
 
 - I ordered this Journey Journal from Cracked Designs to jot some of our road trip memories. I also LOVE this one if you'd rather make your own trip scrapbook on the road.

Happy trails and safe journeys!  What are your favorite trip tips?

grad trips

Jordan may kill me for posting this picture, but I love it. It perfectly depicts our first up-close look at the Eiffel Tower. It was a beautiful day. We were weary from travel, but the tower? It perked us right up -- what with its grandeur and iconic nature and all.

Sterling and I never intended to institute a graduation trip "tradition." Even now, I'm not entirely sure that's what to call it. I got lucky last summer and was able to present a paper on Dickens at a conference in England at the beginning of July, and it seemed like a fine idea to bring just-graduated Jordan along. Plus, having her company was way more fun for me. We looked around London for a few days, took a train south for the conference, and then chunneled our way to Paris. ​

Despite tiny airplane seats, an entire jet-lagged day spent wandering London (before our hotel room was ready), squishy subway cars, and one very drafty, extremely moldy hotel experience, the trip was a smashing success. Here's why:​

• ​One on one time with Jordan. This was our last summer before she left for college, and it helped ease my have-I-really-done-everything-I-could-as-a-parent anxieties. Not that traveling abroad is a necessary part of the parenting experience in any way, but in the busyness of graduation and prom and college prep, we had plenty of time to contemplate and discuss family life and friends and her adulthood. Gulp.
• Travel experience. We took multiple planes, trains, subways, and taxis on this trip. We had to navigate a number of public transportation systems, one with instructions only in French. By the end of the trip Jordan was a pro, which gave her a much-needed boost of confidence for traveling alone once she left for college. On her first trip home from BYU (at Thanksgiving), her flight was delayed and she missed her connection in Denver. She had to take a shuttle 20 minutes away from the airport to a hotel, spend the night, and then make her way back to the airport the next morning -- alone. She was, rightfully, nervous but managed the logistics easily.
• ​And, of course, it was an exciting introduction to both the thrilling highs and grouchy lows of adventurous undertakings. One of my concerns for my children as they leave home is that they learn to be happy -- to make themselves happy despite their immediate circumstances. I think a big part of that is understanding how to enjoy the journey. The destination itself is important, don't get me wrong, but the bulk of the trip is comprised of getting there. You have to learn to smile at the tired toddler who is encroaching deeply into your already-limited airplane leg room. You have to search out a side-street ice cream shop to break up a long walk back to your room. You have to appreciate the brightly painted doors, or the quaint tea shops, or the unexpectedly fabulous Italian restaurant at the end of the street where your less-than-ideal hotel room waits for you. I want them to find happiness and satisfaction in all of that. And that analogy seems to pop up often while traveling.

Perhaps I'm fumbling the sentiment here. What I wanted to teach Jordan is aptly expressed in one of my favorite quotes by Jenkin Lloyd Jones:​

“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.” 

P.S. Madison and I are planning a grad trip to NYC in July. I'm thinking of a VRBO in Brooklyn and some Broadway shows. Any suggestions from New Yorkers out there?​

Surf & turf

When we first heard that we were moving to Australia last year, Greg put "learn to surf" high on his list of things he wanted to do. Never mind that we would live two hours inland. Or that we didn't have any equipment. Or know-how. Details!

It took him almost a year to get us out there but over ANZAC Day weekend last week we finally got the chance to give it a try. ​It was a beautiful autumn day at Narrawallee Beach: gentle, learner-perfect waves and surprisingly warm water.

We found a guy (this terrific and pretty hilarious surfing coach) to come meet us on the beach and put us through the paces, from warm-up stretches to sand-surfing to catching waves. 

In the middle of the day, I realized that we had hit upon the ideal mid-stage family activity: not surfing specifically, but learning something new together. The key? It was something where we all were equally, flailingly, hilariously novices.  No one was the boss or the expert (well, except Simon the coach. And he was good at being bossy, believe me.) It was in no one's wheelhouse, no one's turf. Just a bunch of newbies out trying something new together; no winners or losers, only cheers for anyone who made the slightest progress or caught the littlest bit of wave.

To G's delight, I think we're hooked. The surf school was getting rid of this season's wetsuits so we ended up getting one for each of us at a great price. (And, as an added bonus, we can all dress up as the Incredibles for Halloween in our matchy-matchy gear. Or not.)​  Next up...what? Golf? Archery? Ceramics? Cricket? There are so many things we don't have a clue how to do it's hard to know where to begin.

[By the way, you've probably noticed by now that I am not featured in my wetsuit glory in any of these photos. Yes--and I guess this might water down my point a bit--in truth I was that mom. The one sitting out, taking the pictures and watching. I wholeheartedly agree with the get in the picture movement but let me just say, here and now, that on this particular morning I was delighted--THRILLED--to be documenting this.  I was perfectly content wandering the beach, reading in my beach chair, and cheering everyone on.  But I will say this: Next time I'll definitely surf. And now I've got my own supersuit.]

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If you're in this part of the world (after you come and have a chat with me, of course), consider heading to Mollymook, Ulladulla and Narrawallee beaches on the South Coast. We found a great little cottage just a couple of blocks off the beach via Stayz. We ate at the classic beachside diner at Mollymook and strolled through the shops and cafes of the lovely historic hillside town of Milton. It was early in the off-season and we felt like we pretty much had this whole lovely area to ourselves!

Traintripping

And there is the headlight, shining far down the track, glinting off the steel rails that,
​like all parallel lines, will meet in infinity, which is after all where this train is going
​​- Bruce Catton

​(Posters by MIchael Schwab and Arnold Worldwide Partners)

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the memorable cross-country train trip I took with my son Sam when he was 11.  (See this post for more about that trip.) Together we became train converts on that adventure and it looks like we're not alone in our fandom: train ridership is at record levels this year in the US. If you're considering a trip, here are some of the nitty-gritty details of train travel with kids and teens.

When you book online with Amtrak, you can choose either coach seats or sleeping "roomettes" that have comfy recliners by day and fold-down bunks by night. When we went, we opted for the cheaper coach seats for the first night on the Lakeshore Limited (Boston-->Chicago) and beds for the next two nights on the Southwest Chief (Chicago-->LA). 

The coach seats are wide recliners with a nice stretch of leg room. I found it to be more comfortable than a red-eye plane flight but I'm not sure I would have wanted to do more than one night that way.​ ​"Recliner" might be a little generous. More like "slight-tilters."

​Amtrak coach seats

Though booking a room (Amtrak calls them "roomettes") on the sleeping car is more expensive, roomettes also include three meals a day in the dining car, access to showers, fresh towel and linens, and personal attendant service (turn-down, newspapers, coffee/bottled water, make-up bed).  There are limited roomettes on each train, though, so be sure to book early if you know that's the way you want to go.

​Playing games in the roomette

What does that look like, pricewise? If we were doing this same trip next month (one night in coach seats, two nights in a roomette) it looks like the cost for the two of us combined would be $656 one way (and doing the whole trip in coach seats would only be $327 for both of us).  Compared to driving that distance (including gas, lodging, food) it's definitely a bargain. While it's true that compared to flying it's not really much cheaper, we were really in it for the adventure factor as well as the transportation so it was still worth it for us. 

The dining car

If you have a little more time or want to see more of the country, Amtrak has a fantastic rail passes program, much like the Eurail passes in Europe. You can get unlimited Amtrak coach seat tickets for 15 days/8 segments for $439 for adult, $220 for kids. (They also have 30-day and 45-day options.) Wouldn't that be a fun backpacking adventure for a graduation present?!

​What to take (besides the usual):
​
​- a pillow and an extra blanket, especially if you're in seats overnight (they're provided in the sleeping cars).
​- games and decks of cards. It's fun to go to the observation car and strike up a game with another family, too.
​- books galore (my Kindle really came in handy that trip so I didn't have to lug lots of books).
​​- a map to trace your trek, or you could stitch your route on a map as you go like this.
​​- I recommend this book, which gives a nice overview of what you're seeing out the window all along the way.
​-​ comfortable clothes for lounging in (and remember pajamas/robe suitable for dashing down the hall to the restroom if you're in a roomette).
​​- you can bring electronics--and there are plugs available for charging--but there's no wi-fi, at least when we went. I found it to be a great excuse to take a break from all that connectivity for a few days. (You can hop off and access wi-fi at stations along the way.)
​​- stamps to mail home postcards from each station (You can even make a book of them when you get back home if you're so inclined.)
​​- a willingness to go with the flow and enjoy the journey. Really, that's the whole point, right?

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Intrigued by the idea? Here's some more information to get you started:​

Check out Amtrak's America by Rail blog.​

​​If you just know you want a train adventure but don't know where, here are five best train trips in the US.

​​If you're not sure about a longer train adventure, here are some of the best "starter" train route suggestions.​
​
​Things to do on train layovers. Plus, those beautiful train stations are all worth a look themselves!

​LA's Union Station

Finally, a few tunes to get you in the train state of mind:
​Feist & Ben Gibbard : Train Song​
​Johnny Cash : Folsom Prison Blues
​Simon & Garfunkel: Homeward Bound (did you know it was written in a train station?)

​Chicago's Union Station