Cinema for big kids: Holiday edition

By the time this posts, I'll (hopefully) be in the air on the lonnnnng but happy flight home for the holidays. But before I go, a quick post to celebrate holiday movies, second only to music in setting my Christmas barometer to "festive." Here's a list of holiday films (and some tv episodes)--obvious and maybe not-so-obvious--to consider for your holiday viewing this year:

  • Elf. (2003) Of course.
  • It's a Wonderful Life (1946). Of course. Every single year. Buffalo girls won't you come out tonight?
  • John Denver and The Muppets--A Christmas Together (1979): A must-see Muppet Christmas tv episode. Classic--we also love the soundtrack from this one.
  • Little Women (any version but I like the 1994 one with Claire Danes and Wynona Ryder and Christian Bale(!) for its winter scenes). Sure, it's not a Christmas movie per se but the holiday scenes are so evocative! 
  • The Bishop's Wife (1947): A Bishop prays for guidance and Cary Grant appears as the Angel Dudley. Trailer here
  • Meet Me in St. Louis (1944): How can you resist Judy Garland singing "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas?" 
  • A Christmas Story (1983): Ralphie's Christmas quest for a Red Ryder BB gun, his dad's leg lamp, the tongue on the icy flagpole. (Some language; we learned through experience this one isn't really for the younger end of the spectrum.)
  • The Bells of St. Mary's (1945): Not technically a Christmas movie but it contains one of my all-time favorite Christmas nativity scenes:
  • Holiday Inn (1942): Bing Crosby, Fred Astaire. Need I say more?
  • White Christmas (1954): Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney come together to save a Vermont Inn with music. 
  • Sleepless in Seattle (1993): Not a Christmas movie either but some of the crucial scenes happen on Christmas Eve and can you really go wrong with Nora Ephron?
  • Home Alone (1990): Christmas overload! 
  • Little House on the Prairie (1974): What better way to catch the Christmas spirit than joining the Ingalls in their Christmas at Plum Creek episode (even if you're a little distracted by all the leaves on the trees and bushes in December in  "Minnesota")
  • The Waltons original tv pilot movie (1971): The Homecoming: A Christmas Story. This one's for you, Sarah:

Enjoy! Now, what am I missing? What are your holiday movie favorites?

Creative timing

When I was about 10 or 12, my mom took a drawing class with a local artist. It was based on the classic approach in Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards. I remember being awed by the sudden magic of her ability to capture life in her sketch book.  I particularly remember sketches of her hands and one of my brother Chris that was so true to his two-year-old self (do you still have that one, Mom?). I was pretty enchanted by this new, artist version of my mom and by the idea that you could just capture the world on the surface of a paper. 

Lately my hands have ached to DO SOMETHING, create things. I love writing but it's so internal and thinky. I find myself wanting to create something outside of my head, with my hands, bypassing words. I remembered my mom's Edwards text and went looking for it one day last week before I picked up Sam from school. (Plus a Scandinavian embroidery book for good measure because the accruing of the STUFF of a project is the part where I tend to excel.)

Sam has an after-school math class on Fridays so I took the book, pencils, and a sketchbook with me while I waited the 90 minutes in the car. Scanning through a couple of the chapters, I had a bit of an epiphany reading what she had to say about seeing differently so, as she suggests, I gave my first self-portrait a try, using the visor mirror for reference, aware that to passersby I looked like a mirror-gazing narcissist. Here's to being vulnerable and sharing--

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This is totally out of my comfort zone and I'll be the first to say I've got a long long way to go--the prickly art critic/doubter on my shoulder has pointed out this is just me-ish and maybe an anime version at that with the wide-eyed zombie stare--but the magic of making lines suddenly take life?  Wow, what a rush. I'm hooked and Betty has officially rocked my world. (If you've ever played Draw Something with me, you know this is a big leap!)  Ahoy! I'm drawing! I draw! I'm a draw-er! Is this a breakthrough, that I'm a draw-er? I draw now! (Hurry, name that movie before clicking the link.)

In mentioning this to several friends I've been amazed how many people remembered their moms/dads/grandparents taking up drawing at around this same stage with the same book. Maybe it's a life timing thing. If I think about it, my grandfather started building the family cabin by hand in around this time in his life, as well as learning woodcarving, iron work, and stained glass. My aunt started watercolor painting, another one took up oil painting. It's like it's hardwired in our human development to branch out creatively at this stage. (Hello, Erikson's generativity/stagnation stage. Nice to see you again.) Or maybe it's just a time in life when we finally have a tiny sliver of extra time available to devote to new interests?


What about you? Have you started a new creative endeavor or are you itching to learn something new? Where do you channel your creative leanings? 

[Edited to add: This will be a lighter posting week while we all run around doing Thanksgivingy things. We'll see you here on MWF. Have a great week!]

Adventures with big kids: skiing

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It seems like mid-November might be the perfect time to talk about skiing. If you are a long-time, hockey-stop, swish-down-the-mountain skiier, then this post might not be for you. This post is for us warm-weather, newbie skiiers (or you cold weather folks who haven't yet braved the slopes). 

As our kids got older, Sterling and I found it increasingly difficult to plan family vacations that addressed everyone's interests. When we were at The American Girl Store, Parker was in physical pain. When we were looking at WW II exhibits, the girls were bored and anxious. Plus, there are age differences. And personality differences. Sure, food brought us together, but you can only eat for so many hours a day, and then you just have to MOVE ON..

Skiing has been, in fact, something that all of our kids really enjoy. Plus, there's the story-telling AFTER skiing, wherein we detail our greatest wipe-outs and predicaments . . . and everyone loves that part too. And riding the lifts? Forget about it. There is nothing like gliding through snowy, mountain beauty while chatting with your kids. It's the best, Jerry. The best. 

Starting the sport is admittedly daunting -- there's lots of gear to buy and arrangements to make. For our first ski trip, three years ago, I scoured the Internet looking for advice, and didn't find what I was really looking for (but I did get lots of good advice from my SIL, Debbie). Here, I've compiled my tried-and-true list of recommendations for those just starting out.

Gear: This is a lot of stuff if you are starting from scratch. Craigslist, garage sales, and community Yahoo groups are great ways to find gently used ski clothes -- particularly for kids who may outgrow an entire set in just one season. Also, once we were in Utah, a quick stop by Walmart, revealed a whole world of low-priced snow pants, kids snowsuits, gloves, and even parkas. So, there are options in just about every price range. You do have to be determined. And fearless. And being BFFs with the Internet doesn't hurt.

But I digress. The first year, since the ski trip was essentially the kids' Christmas gift, I spent HOURS online trying to figure out how to clothe my crew. I ended up getting almost everything from Lands' End (who is NOT paying me to say this). I started putting everything I thought I would need into my cart, and then good old Lands' End responded by e-mailing me deals: I think I finally bought when everything was 30% off and free shipping. Because I'm not Midas, I only bought one complete set per person. So, yes, there was washing. Here's what we got: 

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1. Thermals. These are an essential first layer. We bought the thermaskins (crew top and pants) from Lands' End. I ended up getting off-white for the girls and black for the boys. Don't ask me why. These have held up famously, and we are all still wearing the original pair. Bonus: wear them under jeans to a cold football game!

2. Fleece half zip. I also got these from Lands' End because the price (minus 30% was pretty darn good). This is your second layer up top. 

3. Ski pants. The first year I bought six pairs of ski pants from Lands' End (these are currently listed at $89, but I think they were more like $59 when I bought them). They worked great, but, honestly, they are pretty puffy. The second year I bought a slimmer fitting pair for myself that I like much better. Becca's asking for these pants for Christmas. Bonus: The kids' snow pants have an extended length you can access by ripping out some inside stitching, so Parker wore his for two years! 

4. Ski parka. I only bought Parker's coat through Lands' End. Sterling and I used hand-me-downs from my brother and SIL, and I scoured the Internet for more stylish options for the girls. Madison and Becca opted for snowboarding shells and Jordan bought a more traditional fitted ski jacket. I paid under $100 for each.

5. Sock liners. These aren't "essential," but I love them! Wear them under your ski socks for extra warmth. They wick the sweat away from your feet! And yes, you will be sweating. 

6. Ski socks. Go for one pair of real ski socks. These have padding in just the right places and are the appropriate thickness for ski boots.  

7. Snow boots. These are totally optional. You don't really NEED snow boots to walk from your car to the ski lodge. We did use them when we went tubing one night. Also, they might make you feel more legit -- if you are into that sort of thing. But otherwise, you can skip the boots. 

8. Gloves. I ordered six pairs of squall gloves from Lands' End. Moderate price. Worked great. 

9. Ski helmet. Okay, here's the deal on helmets. The first year we rented. The bummer is that a helmet is about $8.00/day, which is just about half of what you pay for skis, boots, and poles combined. When Sterling and I went up later in the season we actually bought helmets. We found some on sale for about $60, so we made up our purchase in about 8 days of rentals. Of course, they DO take up a bunch of luggage space!

10. Goggles. I was so on the fence about goggles. Goggles can run into the hundreds of dollars, which I was not willing to spend when we were just "trying out" the sport. I found some goggles in the $40 range (on sale) at a ski shop near my home at the last minute. They have been fine. Not great. But serviceable. When I'm really swishing down the slopes, THEN I'll upgrade. 

Equipment Rentals: I know this is getting long, so I'll try to hurry this along. The first year, we rented our equipment from the resort. The shop was crowded, and we really did not get adequate help with fitting -- which meant REALLY uncomfortable ski boots. The next year we followed my brother to a smaller shop close by the resort. They were much more invested in the fitting, and the price was good. If you reserve online, you can get 20% off the entire rental. Beginner skis, boots, and poles run $22/day ($17.60 with discount), and the helmet is $8.00/day ($6.40 with the discount).

Lift Tickets: Each year we've bought discount tickets from our equipment rental place. Often Costco has great deals on packs of tickets. If you really look around (from the comfort of your computer) there is generally a discount to be found. The depth of the discount depends on the resort you choose. If I had it to do over again, I might have started at a smaller resort where lift tickets and ski instructors are less expensive.  So far we've skied at Park City and Deer Valley.

Instruction: The instruction portion of the trip, for beginners, is super important. It literally can be the difference between success and failure. For kids, ski school is a great option -- the lift ticket (and lunch) are included, and they get great (and safe) instruction from about 9 - 3. Most ski schools place the kids into groups by ability, about 5-6 kids per instructor. For our teenagers (and ourselves), the first year we tried out a Never Ever class, which, as you might guess, is designed for people who have never, ever, ever strapped on a pair of skis. This class was a bit of a wash. It was slow moving, and we probably went down the bunny slope ONE TIME all morning, which was boring for the kids. After the Never Ever, we engaged a private instructor. The private instructor is pricey, there is no doubt, but a couple of sessions can really get you on your way -- I can't recommend private instruction enough. 

Housing: While staying close to the resort is incredible, we opt to stay about 20 minutes away where prices are more reasonable. Try VRBO -- it gives you a little room to spread out! 

Guys! If you are even a tiny bit inclined -- try skiing. There are really no special skills involved. And soaring down the mountain is like flying . . . creeping down is pretty darn fun too. 

Mini traditions

Parker at our Starbucks breakfast date.

Parker at our Starbucks breakfast date.

When Sterling and I first started our family, we (probably mostly I) were dead-set on instituting FUN FAMILY TRADITIONS. I was so gung-ho about establishing and carrying out those TRADITIONS that, in some instances, I plumb wore myself out. It's taken me many years to learn the beauty of simplicity, and even now I have a penchant for taking the easy and beautiful and turning those elements into a 36 hour, gut-wrenching, sweat-laden PROJECT. It's a weird part of me that I'm trying to squelch.

Some of those old traditions have stayed with our family through childhood and into the teen and young adult years (my kids are still expecting a glass ornament every year), and some have understandably fallen by the wayside (we have a great Christmas picture book collection that no one will let me read to them!). Some traditions have come and gone and come again (like delivering the 12 days of Christmas in secret to an unsuspecting family). But I've found lately that it's been fun and satisfying to institute mini-traditions -- things we do for a season without any pressure to continue until the end of time.

For instance: For the first two months of school Parker had a cross country meet every Wednesday after school. Sterling, Becca, and I drove out, watched him run, and then brought him home with us. Because we had a limited window between the meet and church that night, we instituted Chick-Fil-A Wednesdays. Each Wednesday, after the meet, we'd drive through Chick-Fil-A and pick up dinner. Everyone looked forward to Chick-Fil-A Wednesdays (especially me because it meant no cooking). Guys, do you see what I did there? I made the Chick-fil-A drive-thru a tradition by giving it a name! It was easy, and my kids still talk about it. Are you getting my drift? Making memories through easy traditions! I'm going to write a book: 200 Family Traditions That Require Absolutely No Work on Your Part.

Bestseller, right? 

Here's another good one that fell right into my lap: When a cold front blew through recently Parker asked if I'd take him to Starbucks for hot chocolate before school. His school doesn't start until 8:15, so it's fairly easy to throw him in the car at 7, have a lovely hot chocolate and muffin at Starbucks, and deposit him at school afterwards. And he was so appreciative. I'm thinking maybe every other Friday until Christmas? I'll call it Made-It-to-the-Weekend Hot Chocolate.

And voila people! Traditions and memories without stress or hot glue gun burns.  

What about you? Any fun (and stress-free) traditions you can share with us? Please! I need them for my book! 

 

Selfie esteem

Once there was a man who filmed his vacation.
He went flying down the river in his boat
with his video camera to his eye, making
a moving picture of the moving river
upon which his sleek boat moved swiftly
toward the end of his vacation. He showed
his vacation to his camera, which pictured it,
preserving it forever: the river, the trees,
the sky, the light, the bow of his rushing boat
behind which he stood with his camera
preserving his vacation even as he was having it
so that after he had had it he would still
have it. It would be there. With a flick
of a switch, there it would be. But he
would not be in it. He would never be in it.

- Wendell Berry, "The Vacation" 

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We just finished our spring school holidays here. As an early birthday present, Maddy accompanied G on a business trip to the states so she could (a) tour some universities she's in love with/dreaming of attending and (b) also visit her friends at her old school. Sam and I were on our own here so I gave him free reign (rein?) to choose something  as a consolation prize (if you can call it a prize, going somewhere with your mom when you're a 15-year-old boy)  and he opted to head to the Blue Mountains for a few days of hiking and adventuring. 

Hiking, yes, and instagramming/recording our way through the scenery. If a hike happens in a forest and no one instagrams it, does it really happen? As Wendell Berry asks, can you really be in a vacation if you are constantly recording it? It's a balance, the making of memories and the recording them.

I'm usually the one behind the camera (and prefer it that way, really!) but every once in a while I try to make sure to document my presence. Otherwise my kids will grow up and say, "Man, isn't it great my dad took us so many places. I mean, where's my mom? Did she ever even come on one of these things? I guess she just couldn't be bothered, huh?" Turning over the camera to someone else is an option, sure, but it's still tricky to get a shot you like and it's uncomfortable to ask for do-overs and adjustments (why yes, I do have some control issues, why do you ask?).

Enter the selfie.

I'm a reluctant selfie-er, really. It's a rare moment that I flip that camera around. As my friend Trina said, "Selfies...either a self esteem killer or boost." Mine are usually the killer variety, truth be told. And I feel vulnerable and silly even before I look at the shot. 

Look, kids. I was here. I was in it. Now, here, let me take a picture of you. 

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Do you have a selfie opinion? How often are you in the picture?  Do you ever feel conflicted over the balance of living life and recording of life? 


Some great reads on selfies (via Longreads): 

p.s. If you are in the Blue Mountains of Australia, don't miss the National Pass trail. Spectacular. Selfies optional.

 

Plugging snail mail

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I've had an epiphany of sorts lately. Let's file this post under 'unexpected joys' or 'bulking up your teen's writing skills,' but it's all about going old school. Yep, I'm talking snail mail. First off, you have to know that I enjoy technology like nobody's business. I'm all about using technology to organize my disorderly self and improve efficiency. Do you know there's a breastfeeding app that times how long your baby nurses and then keeps track of which side you fed on last? If I had babies during the iphone age? I would have been ALL OVER that. And it goes without saying that I can send and receive e-mails in mere minutes. So, except for receiving packages via Amazon Prime and proliferating artsy Christmas cards, I wasn't entirely certain of the value of the USPS.  

I know. I think deep thoughts. 

But then Jordan left for France, and I was relegated to one measly e-mail per week. Don't get me wrong. The e-mail is fantastic, and I wait anxiously all Sunday evening, knowing it will arrive in the wee hours of Monday morning.  But I read the e-mail, sigh in satisfaction, and then have the hideous realization I'll have to wait another seven full days to hear from my very own baby girl. Luckily, Jordan inherited my wordy gene, and so we usually get a real-life, paper-and-envelope letter from her every week as well. Here's how it goes down: I open the mailbox and pull out the stack of catalogues, bills, and junk mail. Standing barefoot in the street, I shuffle through the junky advertisements until . . . YES! . . . an envelope all the way from FRANCE!! Then I calmly walk back inside, put the other pieces of mail in their respective places (ie mostly in the trash) and sit on the couch to S L O W L Y open the letter. The letter contains her handwriting. And sometimes pictures. She decorates the envelope with stickers and makes our address all scroll-y and fancy. There it is. It's tangible. I leave it on the coffee table for the rest of the family to read. I show it to strange repair people who are in our home. I re-read it several times throughout the week. Guys, it's an utter delight.

And you know what else? I write her back -- usually once a week. But if I suddenly think of something I want to tell her . . . I might send a random letter just because. I include recipes for her to try (she is always asking for more). Sometimes I print out instagrams, trim them into tidy squares, and send them along. Today I printed out this awesome monster coloring page, because even if she doesn't have time to doodle on it, I know she'll appreciate the sentiment. I'm constantly on the look out for funny/cool cards to send, and I have a healthy collection in my desk drawer -- ready to go. 

It turns out that even if I'm not good at quitting sugar, or exercising everyday, or writing on my dissertation as much as I should -- I'm a darn good corresponder. Does that count for something? 

Here's something else. This correspondence is SO good for my sophomore and seventh grader here at home. They are writing! With a purpose! Which often turns out to be the very best kind of writing. Granted, I have to make this a specific activity wherein I pull out paper and pens and markers and stickers and sit them down to the table, but once I've done all of the prep work -- they comply very amiably. (Story of my life.)

I've been thinking about how much happiness these letters have brought to my daily life. Perhaps I'm a nineteenth-century girl at heart. So, I'm working on bringing back the letter -- quality paper, fine penmanship, messages from the heart. Just today I sent a letter off to Annie -- all the way to Australia. Wonder if she'll write me back.

Off time

Please forgive me. I just now walked in the door from a wonderful, sleep deprived, dirt-between-my-toes span of days at a Girls' Camp. Yes, it's true that many of you northern hemisphere-ites are at this minute preoccupied with apple picking and pumpkin carving and cinnamon-scented baking (I know this because Pinterest and Facebook tell me so). I get it (and, hey, I miss it); you're hunkering down for the colder months. But here in southeast Australia, we're just perking up to spring. Since the schools are on a two-week spring break around here, our church group headed three hours away to the gorgeous coastal town of Narooma for the yearly Young Women's camp. 

So the only things rattling around in my brain tonight are: (a) how fast I can get myself into a shower, (b) how good my bed will feel tonight, (c) how long will my left eye stay bloodshot and (d) teen girls are pretty fabulous. Please humor me with a few photos as a companion to Sarah's great post on her Girls' Camp experience in Texas (and I echo every one of her lessons learned):

Teen girls + camp = braid fest

Teen girls + camp = braid fest

Quiet time on the beach. (Seriously. Check out that gorgeous beach. It's like Ireland and Hawaii had a love child and called it the Australian south coast.)

Quiet time on the beach. (Seriously. Check out that gorgeous beach. It's like Ireland and Hawaii had a love child and called it the Australian south coast.)

Amazing Race time (Or, really, an 8K hike disguised as a game. Brilliant.)

Amazing Race time (Or, really, an 8K hike disguised as a game. Brilliant.)

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Happy campers.

Happy campers.

Sketching time on the beach.

Sketching time on the beach.

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A ridiculously funny game where one poor member of each team is subjected to shaving cream, thrown cheeto balls, and squirted water. Maddy was a good sport.

A ridiculously funny game where one poor member of each team is subjected to shaving cream, thrown cheeto balls, and squirted water. Maddy was a good sport.

Bless you for sticking around through what is surely the online equivalent of subjecting you to a whole slide carousel of holiday photos. My brain will be up and working in a day or two.

I almost forgot--as a token of my appreciation, here's a fellow mid-stage mom's hilarious post about being the meanest mom on the block and drawing the line on being over invested in how your kids feel about every little thing. "We're on the same team but, dudes, that team has Captains and it's the parents."  I'd love to hear what you think about it.