Had they known at these moments to be quietly joyful?

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Yesterday, when I SHOULD have been working, I accidentally found myself reading a novel. That happens from time to time, and I'm considering seeking professional counseling over the matter. I was reading Elizabeth Strout's Olive Kitteridge, which I picked up the other night at Barnes & Noble. Guys, I should have waited. I have Amazon Prime, which means I could save myself five bucks by ordering rather than buying it on the spot. But I also have a problem with delayed gratification, so I bought it on the spot.  I wanted it mostly because the protagonist (does anyone still use the word protagonist?) lives in the little town of Crosby, Maine. You see, I have a slight Maine fantasy going on in my head -- a fantasy placed there in my adolescence by one Hawkeye Pierce. (MASH, anyone?) Also, Olive Kitteridge is a Pulitzer Prize winner (2009), so I wanted to see what the fuss was all about.

The Pulitzer Prize citation pages says that Oliver Kitteridge packs a "cumulative emotional wallop." And really? I'd whole-heartedly agree. The book is actually comprised of a series of short stories, all set around the same characters in idyllic Crosby, Maine. Most of the action, however, swirls around Olive, and as she approaches her 70s the narrator reflects on a long-ago played soccer game:

There was beauty to that autumn air, and the sweaty young bodies that had mud on their legs, strong young men who would throw themselves forward to have the ball smack against their foreheads; the cheering when a goal was scored, the goalie sinking to his knees. There were days--she could remember this--when Henry would hold her hand as they walked home, middled-aged people, in their prime. Had they known at these moments to be quietly joyful? Most likely not. People mostly did not know enough when they were living life that they were living it. But she had that memory now, of something healthy and pure.

I was so struck by this. Am I in my prime? Is this the best it will ever be? I felt both suspiciously proud and slightly terrified. But even more importantly, I knew that these are the moments to be quietly joyful. Yesterday, when the four of us were in the dark car on the way home from Church, and we stopped at Sonic at 9:00 pm for drinks, and the radio played softly in the background while we laughed at Rebecca's joke, I thought to myself, Had they known at these moments to be quietly joyful?


See a list of Pulitzer Prize winners in fiction here

 

 

A few good gems

I think there should be a law against having school the day after Halloween. Or, at the very least, it should be a late start day. 10 AM would work for me. Let's start a petition! Have a sit in! Cry in the principal's office! Who's with me? 

In the glass half full part of my brain, I'm extremely grateful today is Friday. Let's all try to take it easy this weekend, shall we? And here, are a few good gems to read while lying a-bed: 

My SIL Debbie tried these Favorite Pumpkin Oatmeal Cookies by Sally's Baking Addiction and reports the recipe is a keeper. In this era of fabulous, gooey cookie pictures, a personally baked and tested recipe is pure gold. (Don't even ask about the pumpkin spice cake crunch bars I tried this week. I shudder in memory!)

One thing I LOVE about blogging is the platform to put a beautiful cookie pic and recipe right smack next to an article by bell hooks. Do you guys know bell hooks? She's a prominent scholar and activist who writes about gender, class, and racial inequality. [Note: she doesn't capitalize her name (which is a nom de plume) because she wants focus directed at her work and not her person.] This article is bell hooks' commentary on Sheryl Sandburg's claim to feminism in her book, Lean In. Essentially, hooks emphasizes that Sandberg's message is about a small, privileged group of white women working within current oppressive and damaging ideologies -- that it's a falsity that all women really need to succeed is a little focus, a little leaning in. Just recently I've been rereading hooks and what she has to say about the role of home in providing safe places of political resistance. She is GOOD. [If you are interested in further reading this book is good. And this one.]
 
Have you guys seen Scoutmob? Normally I'm not much of a shopper, but the nonshopper in me gets a particular thrill from ordering up Christmas online, in my pajamas, with bedhead.  Scoutmob is billed as "inspired goods by independent makers," and it's just a huge treasure trove of great design and clever products.

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I'll take a moustache print, please. 

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I love this print of Houston -- lots of cities available. 

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And how many of you can identify this quote? 50 points for a correct answer. 

Check out Indiebound.org both to support local, independent booksellers and for great book recommendations on their Indie Next List. I'm prone to only linking to Amazon (Look! I did it in my bell hooks link!) but I'm going to sign up at Indiebound and work on linking to my local peops. Nothing I like better than the Shop Around the Corner. Reference anyone?

We have a cold front blowing through in a day or two (yippee!) and I'm going to stir up a pot of this. Wish you could join me! 

That's it folks! Have a fab weekend! And many thanks to Debbie for brainstorming links with me on Halloween night (while watching old episodes of The X Files.)

Getting carded: The holiday card post

Confession: I love holiday cards. Truly, madly deeply adore the whole shebang. I love creating them, writing them, love finding them in the mailbox, reading them and, yes, love being entertained by them at times when they get out of hand in the braggery or too-much-information department. I know some people are a bit ambivalent about holiday cards (too much hassle, too expensive, social media alternatives) but I am not one of them. I am firmly in the pro-card column.

The ideal holiday card for me is a little funny, a little original, something that captures the family's spirit and gives a little news. Pictures, please, preferably of the whole family, not just your kids. It doesn't have to pricey or fancy, though. 

Our cards have run the gamut.  Some years we just managed to take a photobooth shot and stick it to some paper, too late even to find any red or green paper to use:

Christmas 2007

Christmas 2007

 

Other years we used the cheesy roller coaster photo from our vacation. It still makes me laugh. It was a completely unstaged keeper: 

Christmas 2004

Christmas 2004

 

But sometimes, when I have time to let my mind run wild, I like coming up with something a bit different, like this library book slip format we tucked into a photo card:

Christmas 2010

Christmas 2010

I've been moseying around the internet looking for some card inspiration lately.  We haven't had professional photos taken this year so I know we'll be going with a more home grown approach so I've been collecting good ideas. Here are some trends and ideas I've collected that I thought you might like, too: 

I love the originality of this stacked box idea. They did their individual and some group shots each taken in one box and then used photo editing to make the 4x4 cube. Of course, this could also be the way to do that Brady Bunch card of your dreams:

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I also love a photo with personality. This book shot is great: 

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Someday we're going to do an outdoor window shot. I mean, I might have to locate a a french provincial mansion owner who won't mind an impromptu photo shoot but it's Going To Happen. 

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I really like the infographic design trend. Such a perfect way to get a lot of information on one card. (Judging from how many versions of this you can find on Pinterest, lots of other people like it, too!)

by Amanda Jane Jones

by Amanda Jane Jones

I can see many fun ways to incorporate this idea of using thought bubbles as backgrounds for a photo on a card: 

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Here's a twist on the photo card. What about a photo envelope?

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If you use Instagram (or just have a representative shot from every month) I really like this simple layout. Sorry; the link was broken but it looks like photo/idea credit goes to Little Deer:

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Looking for more inspiration? I love this article from an old issue of Smithsonian magazine, exhibiting artists' Christmas cards over the years. Lots of great ideas and creativity there. 

And what to do with all those cards after the holidays? What about this idea: take a phone photo of your friends' cards and make it their contact photo on your phone.

. . . 

Okay, now. You get the idea.
How 'bout you? What's your card philosophy?
Your favorite card you've sent or received? 

 

A few good gems

Venus's lovely path over a year's worth of still photos. Summer solstice is on top, winter at the bottom and equinox where they cross.  Via

Venus's lovely path over a year's worth of still photos. Summer solstice is on top, winter at the bottom and equinox where they cross.  Via

A few things to tickle your brain and/or your fancy this weekend:

- Malala Yousafzai, you are extraordinary. (Extended, unedited Jon Stewart interview here. BBC Interview here. Interview in The Atlantic here. Her speech to the UN here.) 

-The London Symphony Orchestra just created a new interactive online video experience where you can watch the orchestra play Ravel's Bolero (and I imagine they'll update this now and then with different pieces), interact with different camera angles and discover more about the musicians and instruments. Also? There are masterclasses on selected instruments and on Ravel.  Brilliant. Try it here. Created by the folks at Sennep. (Thanks, Swiss Miss.)

- This is a very cool, one page giant 2014 planner by Present and Correct. (Thanks, Pinterest.)

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 -I Was Not a Pretty Child (by Hannah Dale Thompson), a poignant essay on growing into yourself and how "beauty, a word I am very hesitant to use self-referentially," she says, "is a terrible drug" (via Longreads). 

-Grammar geek humor! Kudos to Kind of Sketchy's Grammar Pirate comic strip.

-Speaking of grammar, how attached are you to the apostrophe

-Loved Christina Vanko's Modern Day Snail Mail project. After finding the pen of her dreams (her dad's old calligraphy pen), she decided to send only handwritten text messages to people for a week. (Thanks yet again, Swiss Miss!) 

 -I'm pretty excited about the partnership between the Paper app (by FiftyThree) and Moleskine. Oh, the book-making possibilities. Check it out!

I'm digging this Read Instead poster from BOOK/SHOP. If I don't order it, this just might be my next art project--it's no string art (loved that, Sarah) but it's a baby step in the right direction. (Thanks, Cup of Jo.)

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- Dumbo Feather is one of my (many) favorite Aussie finds. It's a fantastic publication (both online and print) that lives up to its tagline: conversations with extraordinary people.  Every one of their thoughtful interviews inspires me and the magazine itself is an honest-to-goodness design treasure. Maira Kalman, Brene Brown, Maria Popova (this issue, not yet online), Alain de Botton--just a few to get you started. 

-We've been traveling a bit these last couple of weeks since it's been our spring school holidays here. I'm looking forward to cozying up in my own house this weekend and doing more nesting, less launching. I think we're going to try these Avocado Cream and Chicken Suiza Enchiladas.  And in the tried-and-true category, I can attest to the deliciousness of these Apple Brie Tarts. Even my picky brie-cheese-hater loved them. 


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Climbed a mountain and I turned around

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How to Climb a Mountain

Make no mistake. This will be an exercise in staying vertical. 
 
Yes, there will be a view, later, a wide swath of open sky,
 
but in the meantime: tree and stone. If you're lucky, a hawk will
 
coast overhead, scanning the forest floor. If you're lucky,
 
a set of wildflowers will keep you cheerful. Mostly, though,
 
a steady sweat, your heart fluttering indelicately, a solid ache
 
perforating your calves. This is called work, what you will come to know,
 
eventually and simply, as movement, as all the evidence you need to make
 
your way. Forget where you were. That story is no longer true.
 
Level your gaze to the trail you're on, and even the dark won't stop you.

Maya Stein

 . . .

Over the last few months I've fallen in love with hiking. Who knew? I love the solitary climb, the burn as I push myself up the hill, the crunch of gravel underfoot. My barnacled thoughts loosen as I go and I can leave my unnecessary, unhelpful worries up on the trail as an offering at the altar of the day. Up there at the peak of a strenuous climb I feel clearer, my brain scrubbed clean, ready for what matters. 

Another truth follows, though: then I come down.  

Ugh. Yes, sometimes the summit clarity stays with me and holds me over until next time. But often the buzz wears off quickly. After recently launching Lauren on her mission--the latest big figurative mountain I climbed--I've been feeling it this week, the inevitable, predictable post-summit valley. (As I did after our moves. And when L. left for university the first time. And after the holidays every year. And after back-to-school rush. And after the thrill of a fun vacation.) The thing about launching is--if you do it right, then they're gone. (Come on, sing with me now...climbed a mountain and I turned around...then the landside brought me down.  I'm pretty much the poster girl for that song these days. That and the Fiddler on the Roof song about sunrises and sunsets.)

Then I remember this wisdom, discovered a couple of years ago and put to good use ever since:

"You cannot stay on the summit forever; you have to come down again. So why bother in the first place? Just this: What is above knows what is below, but what is below does not know what is above. One climbs, one sees. One descends, one sees no longer, but one has seen. There is an art of conducting oneself in the lower regions by the memory of what one saw higher up. When one can no longer see, one can at least still know"  (Rene Daumal, Mount Analogue).

I'm still figuring out what that means for me, exactly, and how to conduct myself in the valleys. Remembering and knowing is a good start. And new mountains. But first I think I'll take a long bath and indulge in some cinema therapy.

Here's to you and your mountains--to the grit and vistas and the descent and even the occasional landslides.

. . . 

p.s. Speaking of hiking:  In praise of America's parklands and encouraging Congress take a hike.

A few good gems

You may have noticed our relaxed posting schedule this week. We're taking it a bit easy during the month of August and posting on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. We're each launching a daughter this month and it takes a village plus a lot of shopping time, errands, and hand-wringing to launch a child!  

photo via dimasmelfi

photo via dimasmelfi

Saying good riddance to the clean-plate club. Some interesting thoughts from a family nutritionist about ending the ol' sit-there-until-you're-done practice. She emphasizes instead a more healthy approach of helping kids paying attention to more internal cues, like eating until you're full. What do you think? Did you have a clean-plate approach in your family growing up?

- I love the concept of Community Supported Agriculture as a way for consumers to buy seasonal food directly from local farmers. So I did a mental back handspring (the only kind I know how to do) when I read that there now are CSAs for art! For instance, in one program nine selected artists receive a commission to create artwork and then each member's share includes one piece from each artist over the season. Here's a map of existing art CSAs and some resources for starting one in your area.

- I've been a calligraphy/handwriting admirer/novice every since I spent hours reworking my handwriting during the downtime at my gig as a hospital snack bar volunteer when I was 12 (whew! that was a jungle of prepositional phrases!). Recently I've had a hankering to get my pens and ink back out again. This clip was a amazing reminder of the power of disciplined practice and the beauty of the sweep of ink on paper:

- NPR put together a list of the 100 best-ever teen novels based on a poll of 75,000+ listeners. It's an interesting line-up and might give you some ideas if your kids are reaching the end of the bookshelf and looking for some new recommendations. (As always, pre-screen these for your own kids' developmental level and readiness; there are a few picks on there I would hold off on reading until they are older teens.)

-I love a good photo project but I sometimes feel like I've already missed the bus with those cute monthly infant shots or yearly photos on the same chair. This one, fusing a shot of a grandmother and a granddaughter, both at age 20, would be fantastic to try (see below). And this beautiful series of yearly photos of four sisters over 36 years (!) inspired and comforted me because (whew) it's not too late to start it. This one was launched when the four sisters were young adults.

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Happy weekending, all! See you back here on Monday.

Channeling Nora

Photo: Hilary McHone in NY Magazine

Photo: Hilary McHone in NY Magazine

You know the question about who would be on your ultimate imaginary dinner party guest list if you could invite five people from any era? Nora Ephron always makes my list.  In fact, she has long been a charter member of the group of outstanding women I would like to grow up to be--or at least be like. If this imaginary group had a name it would be something like The Society of Dames of Wit and Panache. Right now I'm in early training, nothing but a pledge, a wannabe, a plebe. Give me another decade or few and with any luck I'll get there.

A few months ago Nora's son, Jacob Bernstein, published a wonderful tribute to his mom. In it, he recounts her final weeks, when even then she maintained her signature humor:

Sunday, June 24, was a pretty good day. The sun was shining, and Mom spent most of the afternoon on a couch in the front of her room, doing the crossword puzzle with Max. Binky was there, as was Richard Cohen and his companion, Mona. Amy stopped by with her husband, Alan. “We’re going to the Guggenheim,” Amy said. “Do you want anything from the outside world?”

“Sure,” my mother said. “A de Kooning.”

Another thing she requested was a pineapple milkshake, so Max brought one from Emack and Bolio’s, made from fresh pineapple. But as far as my mother was concerned, a milkshake is one thing that’s actually better with crushed pineapple. Dole.

“When I get out of the hospital, I’m going to go home and I’m going to make a pineapple milkshake with crushed pineapple, pineapple juice and vanilla ice cream, and I’m going to drink it and I’m going to die

,” she said, savoring the last word. “It’s going to be great.”

 . . .

The weekend I read the article, the boys were out of town on a scout campout so I enlisted Maddy in my quest for an impromptu Nora tribute day, complete with pineapple milkshake. Get ready, the recipe is fancy. (Can this even be called a recipe if there are only two ingredients?

1. Throw 4-5 scoops of vanilla ice cream in the blender.
2. Pour in some Dole crushed pineapple, including some of the juice. 
3. Blend and pour into glass(es). Serves two. Or one. No one will know.

So grab your teenagers, put on an Ephron movie, raise a glass of pineapple deliciousness, and deliver your favorite Ephron lines like these (extra points if you can name where these lines originated): 

  • "It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supoosed to be together..and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home, only to no home I'd ever known. I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like...magic."
  • "I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly."
  • "That's your problem! You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie."
  • "Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address."
  • "When I buy a new book, I always read the last page first, that way in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends. That, my friend, is a dark side."
  • "When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you."
  • "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

And my favorite: "Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim."


I realize you might not be as *cough* obsessive *cough* as I am, but just in case you are, here are a few good things for a Nora Ephron tribute day of your own: